Codependence = low self-esteem, problems setting boundaries,

 inability to meet your own needs & wants,

 difficulty creating a balanced life & reality

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        *Have you noticed that the opinions of others are more important to you than your own?
*Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings or saying "no" to significant others?
*Do you feel a burdensome sense of responsibility for the feelings & actions of others?
*Are you involved with someone who has alcohol and/or drug problems? Someone who belittles or physically harms you?

If you find yourself answering "yes" to the above questions, you may be experiencing codependence.  This can be viewed as a behavioral and emotional condition that affects your ability to have healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships.  People with codependent tendencies often find themselves in one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive relationships. 

Codependents often have low self-esteem and need something or someone outside of themselves to feel OK. They have good intentions and often are "caretakers,"  but end up finding that their care taking becomes endless and self-defeating.  They can develop a tendency to do more than their share, almost all the time -- then will feel hurt,  unappreciated, and unrecognized for their efforts.

Codependent people find themselves in unhealthy relationships, willing to do anything to hold on to it in order to avoid the feeling of abandonment.  There is a certain difficulty in truly understanding where "you" end and the other person begins.

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 The first step in changing unhealthy behavior is to understand it.

Therapy for codependence involves exploring how codependence operates: how it develops; how early experiences can instill a life-time of of inappropriate and self-destructive feelings that can lead to problems with behaviors and relationships. Therapy also focuses on helping people to get in touch with feelings that have been deeply buried for a long time and to experience the full range of their feelings again.  Codependent people will learn to identify and embrace their feelings and needs, which may include learning to say "no," to be loving yet firm, and learning to be self-reliant -- no longer fearing abandonment for being true to themselves.